Oh but darling, what if you fly

I've said no or not now to a lot of things in my life because well, I let my circumstance get in the way. To be real, I've struggled with my purpose and place in this world for a very long time. I will be 30 this year... OUCH! Yes, 30 yall!!! I feel like I need to go jump out of a plane or backpack around Europe! It's like I have all this time but I feel like I'm running out of it. Maybe its something about having a baby and getting older, you feel like you have to make sure you're still alive! or at least that people know, HEY I AM STILL HERE! 

But really, having a baby being almost 30 and not married kinda hit me a few months ago. When I was on maternity leave and bonding with my baby I started to feel like I didn't have time now. Like, now that I had a child my life is supposed to stop? It was and still is an adjustment learning to raise a human and help them develop as you are still figuring out how to figure yourself out. 

But recently, there was a shift in my life. As my little man gets bigger, all I can think of is... do I want to tell him mommy stopped dreaming, stopped doing things she enjoyed and that made her stronger because I had him???? That is so shitty, I never want to say that to my son or make him feel that way. YES, a lot changes. YES, you have to make adjustments. YES, certain things have to be put on pause. But NO, your life doesn't stop, actually since having my son I feel my life has just begun. 

Don't let the worlds clock make you feel as though you're behind or out of time. 

We are all guilty of comparing our lives and situations to other people, and yes I did that for a long time. Still sometimes get envious of what certain people have or are doing.... it's only human! But its much less these days. My son lit a fire in my heart, he has showed me in his short 4 months of life that we are gifted with just a little chunk of time on this earth.. I mean, I used to put things off, I used to procrastinate my dreams because I was scared and thought, man I have my entire life. I don't have this., or that... there's someone better. 

But who cares. There will always be someone better, prettier, brighter, richer or wiser. That doesn't mean you aren't worthy of that dream.

 I may never get off the ground with my dream. I may take some photographs, make some people happy and it'll always remain something I am pursuing to be full time for me... but at least I can show my son... THIS IS WHAT YOU DID. THIS is what you gave mommy, and YOU are the reason I never give up. I want him to grow up a dreamer, a believer that whatever in this life his heart desires, if he works really hard and stays committed.... it can surely be his. 

Beginning this journey has been so exciting and honestly I have received great support from the most unexpected places. Not everyone has been on board, and not everyone has been in my corner but hey! That's ok. That is part of what I let hold me back before, but not today! Don't let people who let their dreams die, take yours with them. 

I want to offer some encouragement, if you get anything out of this post it's that...you can pick up that dream. No matter what age, or circumstance, start dreaminnggggggg friend. How fucking sad is it to live a life that you don't dream? You don't have to have the highest quality things, or a big fancy office, or a giant following.... just start. 

In other news... check out my latest family session below...

The Malagons