10 THINGS EVERY NEW MAMA NEEDS TO HEAR
1. A baby isn't going to fix a broken relationship. Listen mamas, I know you think this baby is going to mend every broken part of your relationship. Like, he's going to be loyal now! He's going to want to do better for our baby.... hm. That might be true to an extent, BUT a baby makes everything harder in reality. Yes, he might want to be better and have great intention but hes going to be the same person after the baby as he was before. You can do it without him, I hope you know that. It would be hard but find another support system. Those 4 am wake up calls will come and when hes not there, your baby needs you. I mean FULLY! This isn't the time to be stressing about where HE is. When you have a supportive and healthy relationship, a baby strengthens that bond you two have but doesn't take away the struggles. Although I am in a supportive and loving relationship our baby is hard work and we both are willing to sacrifice for him. But, that lack of sleep makes people irritable and it takes continued sacrifice to be a new parent. If he isn't giving up those bad behaviors now he isn't going to at 4 am.... If you are in an unhealthy relationship you need to face that reality before your baby is born. Period.
2. People are going to tell you how to parent. Some of what people say is actually going to be helpful to you, but advice is different than a demand. I don't think some people realize how they come off sometimes and I'm sure they have the best intentions (usually) but take away what YOU feel is appropriate and keep doing what works for you. From my experience, people forget what being a mama for the first time feels like! So much confidence, pride and excitement during this time, and we want to figure some of this out on our own, that should be respected.
3. It's going to get lonely, dig out that book or dust off those weights! I was told , you're going to go CRAZY being home and you will want to work. Well, I am going a little stir crazy... its poops, feeding and repeat! ALL DAY! But this is what I signed up for, and I don't get to stay home with my baby full time after maternity leave! As many moms don't, and this time is P-R-E-C-I-O-U-S! Yes, I am going a bit nuts BUT I have been trying to fill my time with little things I have put off. Hence this blog I have started! I can still help women, and myself while taking care of my little booger.
4. If you feel like you're failing, you're doing it right. What I mean by this is, most likely you're killing yourself trying to get this motherhood thing right. As long as you're trying, that means you love your baby and that right there my friend... IS WINNING!
5. Don't feel guilty. You're going to miss life before your cute little slice of heaven and that is HUMAN. Don't suppress those feelings, it is okay to look back and appreciate those memories and time of your life. That part of your life isn't over, a matter of fact! You just have to rearrange some things now. There are women out there who are praying for a little miracle like you have now... appreciate where you've been and relish in your today.
6. Allow yourself some grace. Oooo mama- do I feel this. It is HARD to do this part... I am with you. BUT, we just nourished, grew and gave LIFE to a human fucking BEING! We are so dope. Our bodies are incredible, and wherever you're at in your personal PP journey.. is enough. You will get that body back if that's what you want... you will get there. You WILL feel like yourself again, just be patient. I know its hard when you've developed new curves and creases but that body gave you a baby.
7. Raising a child isn't a "One size fits all". Stop scrolling social media and seeing these families that look perfect. LISTENNNNN half those ladies are faking it and even if they aren't they are sugar coated their lives. I respect ALL MAMAS! BUT lets do less of the perfect image and more of the REAL NASTY STUFF! Like, girl I have been breastfeeding since I brought my baby home and IT IS HARD! I don't shame ANYONE for formula feeding their babies, like just nourish your child... I could care less!! I have my beliefs as to why I do certain things with my baby and the next mom also has hers. One baby might need to be breastfed for months and another mama it might not be their thing... nothing wrong with that. STOP MOMMY SHAMMING! We are bigger than that ladies.
8. Breastfeeding is hard. Cry, its OK. We are primarily breastfeeding and I mean its a beautiful experience. Like, I was created to nourish my baby! THAT IS SO NEAT! But, it is hard and I totally see why mamas switch to formula. I will be honest, we have been supplementing with formula! It is what it is. If I can offer some advice its have lots of lanolin literally everywhere you go!!! DON'T FORGET IT! I have made that mistake and my nipples feel like they are going to crack the F off. Luckily I think using this has prevented from bleeding so far.. ( knock on wood). It has been a tough journey so far with BF but worth it I believe. I cry sometimes, as it hurts and I have struggled producing but I am going to keep doing it as much as I can. I believe if you know its tough and you are prepared with the necessities for BF you will be successful. Breast pads, lanolin, water, and if you aren't producing enough... lactation cookies! YOU CAN DO IT MAMA!
9. Get used to saying "No..." and don't feel bad for it!A lesson I am still learning. Babies immune systems are so weak in the first few months of life. If your baby gets sick, you will regret not asking someone to wash their hands or asking to please not kiss your baby. Your babies life is worth the few minutes of awkwardness.
10. EAT! EAT! EAT! I realized I wasn't producing enough milk because I wasn't eating enough. Not only that, but when I didn't eat I noticed! It showed in the way I felt and effected how I cared for baby. With the lack of sleep you will be getting, EAT!
Hope this helps some new mamas out there!! I am sure I will have more to add to this list in a few months... but I think this is a GREAT start for all moms.